I think one of my problems may lie with an early onset lack of social interaction. At an age crucial to making friends and learning the ins and outs of what is and isn't acceptable in public (9 and 10) I was homeschooled. Often times days would go by and I wouldn't go any further than my mailbox. Prior to this I had one very best friend, but his parents divorced, his mom married his uncle and they moved to Jupiter (literally). Before that, I had just one friend, who I lost contact with after being in the stupid gifted program at a different school. My superior learning environment cost me a friend. After a year of gifted I begged to be homeschooled because the most recent nice person I had met was homeschooled and he wasn't being picked on by people in gifted, then again he wasn't in gifted.
I let others run my life too much now. It's not very good. I've become socially outcast, paranoid of people speaking ill of me, yet secretly hoping that they do for fear of becoming forgotten.
I've become bitter and violent, even towards family members. Nothing is sacred anymore. Nothing matters anymore.
I can't connect with others and often times I just say nothing.
What happened to the happy-go-lucky, worry-free guy I used to be? Why can't I just sit down and play a video game anymore? Where's my focus? What's the matter with me?
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